Writing the first draft of a novel is equal parts the most exhilarating part of writing and the most frustrating. To me, there's nothing more thrilling than diving into a new story concept, regardless of how many I have going before it, to explore new themes, characters, and plots that my brain can conjure at any time from any source of inspiration. First drafting comes in two different forms for me, and at both the best and worst of times the methods in which they manifest seems counterintuitive and, more often than not, counterproductive.
Give me a fledgling theme with a half-hashed plot and a couple of rudimentary characters who might not even have names yet? I'll dive head-first into that puppy and have the first chapter churned out in a mere couple of weeks.
Give me a theme with a beginning, middle, and end-game to the plot with a cast of reasonably fleshed-out characters? I totally freeze up. There are times when I think pulling teeth out of my own jaw would be easier than coming up with the next sequential sentence. I will sometimes struggle for days, maybe even weeks, thinking of the perfect wording for what needs to be said next even though I know *exactly* what's going to happen, only to start the cycle all over again as soon as the ink dries.
Like I said, counterintuitive and counterproductive. Logically, wouldn't make sense that it would be the other way around? That I should be able to jump gung-ho into the story that's much more well-developed since it's essentially all there, a convenient road already paved and sparkling before me, while taking the time to feel out the lesser ideas and let them grow in stages until they're ready to stand on their own?
Apparently not.
It's not a huge mystery to why this is. Instead of first drafting like I should - just write down everything and anything comes to mind, then go back and do some major pruning during the first major edit - I get way too hung up on making it sound as well-thought out as the overall thought does in my head, which completely defeats the purpose of the writing process. The most frustrating part about the whole thing is that I can feel the ocean of words behind the dam I build up in my own mind, waiting for that first perfect sentence to be constructed that will open the floodgates and really allow me to get crackin'. Ironically enough, that magical moment almost never comes to me when I'm trying to think of it when I have my notebook and pen in hand, but usually when I'm right smack in the middle of something else and don't have anything to write with, such as when I'm at work, in the car, or - my personal favorite - when I'm getting ready to fall asleep.
I really wonder how many writer's blocks I'd break through sooner and how grief I'd save myself from if I actually sacrificed those ten minutes of sleep to drag my sorry ass out of bed to write even that one sentence down. Sleep can come later; moments of inspiration are much more fleeting and don't keep to a regular schedule.
